Random

I don't have anything to say yet im compelled to write anyways.

I sit here at 514am not able to sleep so I think about what I can do as the most productive use of my time.
I got it. I'll write nonsense for a few people to read.  Let's begin, I will talk about my day in general.

I talked to my bestfriend, my mommy, several other good friends, and to cake.  It was a good day.

I had a couple awesome orgasms, I ate a chicken pot pie, and I got my nails did.

I listened to a podcast that made me laugh my ass off and inspired me to think about writing down my comedic thoughts.

I watched an old show that used to PISS ME THE FUCK OFF because it involves people with a bar code tattoo.  The show premiered a few months after I already had my barcode tattoo.  It always made me think that people thought I got mine because of the show.

I am a fucking original.
That show copied me. 
Fuck you James Cameron. 

Also, I have always wanted a pet pig.  Fuck you Honey Boo Boo and Paris Hilton.




Stupid no-pets rule at my house.

Whelp it's time to power nap before I goto the office.

Thanks for reading, pumpkin.

Happy Mothers Day

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

I heard that in a movie once and it totally stuck with me. I am a proud Mama's boy.  I dont give a fuck.  I still call my mom, mommy and you can suck my fat dick if it bothers you.

Like I said, I don't give a fuck.

The only downside is that it has ruined a few relationships.  I was once asked by a girlfriend to put her on the same level as my mom.  Our relationship ended shortly thereafter and although she is trying to patch it back together something should have been said. 

I didn't say it at the time nor since, but... "bitch are you crazy?"

That is my mother.  My daily phone call.  The only person on this planet that I know loves me as much or more than I love her.

I do not mean to lessen a sisters or a brothers love.

But a mother's love knows no bounds.  It is as pure as driven snow and FUCK anyone who thinks otherwise.

This little rant which should be common knowledge to anyone reading it who isn't a sociopath.

Anyways, this rant was brought upon by thinking about BB Guns..

When she was a teenager she was accidentally shot in the eye with a BB Gun by her brother.

She has a slight cross eye due to it but she is still the most beautiful person in the world to me.
When it comes to her son her vision has never been impaired.  She helped me get out of my hole when I was in my dark place by doing nothing else than jumping down into it with me and shining a light. 

She forgave me for my countless sins and has grown to respect me for the man I am today.

I fucking love my mommy.

Yeah, I said it. Mommy.

Palm to my stomach

The following is about an ex-girlfriend.


Let me preface the following with that I am NOT claiming to be cock diesel.  Only one ex has insisted on keeping her hand on my stomach.  The rest said nothing else but, "dig deep Daddy".  That was what I was used too. She also had another kink explained in the following poem.

Dear Natalie

I hate that relaxed stop and go piss

The stop and go

its not for me

I want my streams to be like Queen

and break free

But when its in your hand

its thick and hard

And with a mind of its own

I've beat him, i've pierced him

I express a love for him no one else has ever known

Except maybe you?

So listen.

I need to please him

with a dark warm wet place of his own

So I shove him into you for that sweet escape

who actually writes poems about pissing? is that even commonplace?

But this poem in truth is about you and our cock.

Your palm on my stomach

dictating my depth and pace

I know you prefer to hold it

but this is a different kind of race

To fuck, release, cum, finish

To do what he do!

so go ahead and hold my cock while I pee

I know that's your kink

and in honesty its timid enough a kink for me not to shun

but afterwards

Its my turn for fun.

Remove your fucking palm.


~


We were together for a year. I really dug her and she was GORGEOUS!
But the cock wants what the cock wants.


C'est La Vie