Friday, March 30, 2012

I'm wise and shit..


Once upon a time I was walking along a road lost in thought.  Contemplating as well as thinking to myself...

"Fuck me in the asshole without any lube, life isnt going so well."

And during this walk, with my head tilted to the sky, I failed to see a hole in the ground.

And I fell in.

I was fucked. Royally fucked.

I screamed and I yelled. I cursed and I cried.

Until a minister walked by.

I beseeched him, "Father, I'm stuck down here, I cannot get out!"

He threw down a prayer.

"Pray your way out"

It didn't work.

"My son!" he said, "i will go to church and pray on your behalf, we will pray you out!"

Nothing happened.

A doctor walked by.

I screamed and I yelled, I cursed and I cried.

He threw down a prescription.

"Medicate your way out."

It didnt work out.

"I'll call an ambulance!" he said.

No one showed up.

And then my friend walked by.  And before I could begin to scream and yell...

She jumped in..

"You dumbass!" I said.

"Now we are both stuck down here!"

"Yes" she said.

"But I've been down here, and I know the way out."

------------

In closing.

Don't be a pussy... if yer bummed about something talk to one of your friends, they've prolly been through the same shit. Or go see a shrink.

 





~This blog post is brought to you by some emo post I saw on IMVU/Facebook/Twitter~

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

My aim is off

But only on certain things!  I never make a mess while peeing.  Ladies,  its ok for you to sit down on my toilet.

I'm talking about while I work.  I answer a question and then move on to the next one.  However, my browser is setup so that every time I answer a question and move on, I risk the chance clicking of a completely different link.  Here's an example



You have no idea how many times i've gone to "Save and Continue" and ended up with;



Puppies have a funny way of getting into everything don't they?


-edit-

You should have seen the things I had planned on having in the Google Search window when i took that screenshot;

"How to deal with having a massive cock"
"How your awesome can benefit others"
etc etc..

Friday, March 2, 2012

Bapa Roo Missy Poo

I initially was not going to post this because its extremely personal,  but after vetting it with Kina I got brave and decided to go ahead....



My puppy had personality.


I would place her in a saddle bag and carry her around.  SHe would pull sooooooo many bitches
for me,, it was AWESOME... Nare there was a day when I had a dry dick in my pants.  Truth!

Her name was Missy,  I called her Miss Missy or Bapa.  There were a few other nicknames as
dogs always have but thats besides the point.

SHe was a blessing.  She was the sleep to my feet,  the competition to my snores,  the excited off her ass to my homecoming. She was also soooo uber-protective for her tiny little behind.  If i told her to "watch it, Bapa"  she would growl at anyone who came close,  especially if she was pressed to my side in her saddle bag.  If whoever it was, coming close, reached towards me she would growl and attempt to nip at their hand.

Do not fuck with the Missy-poo-Bapa-roo!

I lived with her in an apartment that didnt allow dogs.  so Whenever we would go out,  I'd put her in her bag and tell her to, "get down" and she would.

Fuck, she was awesome.

And although being told to stay in her place she would only stay down there Until we escaped eyesite of the apartment building and until I told her to come up.  And like a flash she would jump on my lap, lean her head out the window, and stick her tongue out.

She was a cute, tiny, sweet dog yet I feel my big, black, scary self was just man enough to pull off the fact I rocked a small dog.

This is all besides the point, this is me just venting beause at the moment, ... ..she's the only bitch to whom I feel comfortable enough to say to.....

I love you.








Thursday, March 1, 2012